Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
