im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
