We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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