We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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