omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize