Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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