I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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