woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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