Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
