Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
