Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
