You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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