just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize