i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Come see our sink grown plant.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
