I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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