Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
