THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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