My hand turned me down
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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