Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
