it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
