My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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