I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So apparently I’m into choking now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
