He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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