Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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