Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dear god my vagina.
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