ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
