Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
