theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize