She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Please don't give away my fajitas
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
