the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
