Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize