Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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