but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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