He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
