it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You're like the curious george of whores
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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