Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
