So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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