the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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