she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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