maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
