I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You are the jesus of drinking
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
