well I can't set my house on fire every night
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
