love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
