wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
