i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
