I want to have your abortion
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
