The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
