three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
