No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
