wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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