he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
