what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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