I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Still dying that you shit outside
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
