Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize