i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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