Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize