My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
