I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
