Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
