I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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