She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
foreskin is a definite game changer
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
