drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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