Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
