People with herpes should wear stickers.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize