lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
