he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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