This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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