Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
