he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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