I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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