Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
