the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
