K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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