So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
