i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize