he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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