i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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