Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
