I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
