my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize