I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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