I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This is not my ceiling
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
