After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
