I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
