I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
